Given the choice of a life full of supportive family imprints, a loving intimate relationship and a selective precious bunch of devoted friends, who would you be willing to be? What aspects of you would you care to bring forward to be able to receive this level of happiness?
Recently, I had a conundrum presented to me, out of left field. Somewhere during the last semester of a-two-year training, some students expressed the desire to join a new practicing group, which happened to be my third practicing group that I had signed in. Since the requirements for practicing hours in the training were stipulated and were known to everyone from the start, it amazed me that this request was expressed close to the end of our programme.
In this group, people with their big hearts, immediately responded positively.
But I was not prepared to do that.
At that point after having spent countless hours pushing and pushing myself to practice, pushing my energy limits beyond my daily schedule to be in every single practicing group that I had committed and pushing myself to go forward without allowing excuses of fatigue or a heavy schedule – is there honestly any of us that is not up to the brim with so many time engagements? – my patience and my tolerance were tested.
My initial internal reaction was rage. Beautiful, angry, fatigued rage. How many times have I seen this happening in all the practicing groups, in all the trainings, in all the classes I have been in my life? And why this needs to be the story of my life?
After some crucial moments of internal reflection, the surprising element was not any more that this happened one more time; I mean, this observation is self-explanatory. If this happens one more time, the opposite would have been a refreshing surprise and not this. Something that is repeated almost identically and with a high degree of certainty is rather the norm and not the exception. The surprising element was that I felt rage and I was emotionally overthrown by such a typical case in all the trainings I have been.
I felt that this called for my immediate attention. So I gave myself space and time to process it.
First, I decided I that I was not going to hide my true feelings from my other group members. I wanted to say that a new person joining us at this point, does not sit well in my heart. I allowed myself to stand for my voice and to express it. I even felt that I might attract people’s criticism for being strict and inflexible. I felt the energy of such a potential outcome and I acknowledged to myself that speaking my truth was a higher value than belonging to a group of people by power of compromising who I am.
Once I cleared that out in me, I felt that I needed to communicate this to the other group members. As I was writing a message to them, new perceptions and spiritual insights were appearing naturally to my not so long ago overwhelmed and clouded mind.
I was able to compassionately distinguish hidden and unseen intentions. I posed questions for me, for others and for the prospect in a rhetorical and open way aspiring not so much to the particular and individual answers but rather to complete my investigation with diligence and to invite others to conduct theirs for our collective benefit.
I came to the realization of principles of participation. For example in any given training if someone who has not practiced substantially, frequently or regularly and then requests to join an already well practicing group the underlying request, what that person really asks, is that the group undertakes one’s responsibilities to OneSelf. By joining a well-oiled-machine-like experienced group that has worked to build up its group consciousness and supportiveness, any new member will be benefiting from the higher vibrating energies of this beautifully orchestrated ensemble. And the new person would have to work to match energetically the collective frequencies of this group Consciousness.
Once I was introduced to these insights, I also realized that what I thought of that person or what the past practicing record of that individual was, no longer mattered and it was no longer critical.
I felt myself being invested in only one thing. That the person who expresses the interest to join performs a self-inquiry into the true intention of joining.
Questions such as “do I have the inner intention to commit and practice regularly?” “how am I planning to work individually to align with the group?”, “how am I honoring in this movement myself and the group?” further paved my understanding of the underlying tapestry.
If this is performed before the prospect joins, as a personal rite of passage to the group even, then all the hidden, unconscious reasons of the Self are open to emerge and if healing is truly needed, it will be given freely and unencumbered. The newcomer will align with the group consciousness faster, easier and seamlessly.
It is only when we stand with our eyes wide open and our voice wide clear in our request for our new step that the integration is almost instantaneous and the Big Field of Life, our Life and the Collective aspect of our communal Life, will keep growing without any transitioning period needed.
Having seen this to a personal and a collective level I returned carefully back to me. I realized that as an individual and as a Healer I am in agreement with all these or other movements of healing that are needed for any of us. But I request that each one of us do their part. Because we can only go on collectively as a whole, and that means that no one can be left behind but also everyone is responsible for moving forward with their Movements to Self first. And in that Movement to Self we meet the Movement to the Collective as well.
With that said in my heart, I felt myself returning back to a state of compassion. I could not detect any rage or any resentment any longer. Instead, I saw the prospect new member as another human being in the quest of understanding the Self and the Cosmos.
I am here, you dear prospect joiner are there and the story needs to be clear to protect our energies, our Souls and our hearts, I murmured into my room.
Feeling calm and with my consciousness enriched, having honored myself and my voice, I felt my heart clean, my spirit alive and my integrity solid. I came clean to each one of my fellow group members and I came clean to Life. “These are the qualities I want to serve”, I thought to myself. And it was between those lines in my inner dialogue that I understood that these are also the Spiritual Laws for any group.
My most beloved groups are my family and my intimate relationships. And then the few precious individual ones that I share my Soul with. “Do I have the inner intention to commit and practice regularly my relationship to these groups?” I asked myself. YES, my heart responded.
“How am I planning to work individually to align myself with these groups that I love, cherish and hold deep into my heart?” and “how am I honoring in this movement myself and the others?” feels as something to continually ask and answer for the rest of my life.
In silence I pondered upon the openings that a simple message with an apparently simple request brought into my life. In peace with all aspects of my Self that worked together to help pave my way from rage to compassion, I felt graced in my quest for meaning and confident in the transparency of my intentions. Enchanted by the ethereal essence of my new Collective Presence, I move forward knowing that I can join any group now with the Consciousness of a collective love, support and light.