Difficulties, suffering. Sleepless days of anxiety or exhaustion. Lifespans of daily labors, hard effort. No intervals. People that try hard, that expect a lot from themselves, people that are always doing something. People on the brink of collapse, tired, losing focus, losing their edges. Disciplinarians on their goals, not complacent with their lives.
And then, those people of great talents, sucking out life. People with abundant natural beauty, great toned voices, flexible athletic bodies, self-made visual artists, genius mathematician who can prove things on the spot with confidence, wondrous philosophers of life with acute articulation, they give you one phrase and that phrase carries you through the day sprinkled with meaning and substance, people that have this charisma of being liked almost immediately as you meet them, champions of social interaction, the heart and soul of community circles, inspiring devoted parents who have been able to grow families in the most loving way being responsible and also uplifting their children, truly loving partners who are together as opposed to just living together proving that an adult intimate relationship does not exist only in the cinematographic version of life, polite and gentle human beings who do not betray their good manners because they are in a rush, absurdly funny characters that can pass almost with anything because at the end of the day they make you cry out of laughing, what a gift that is..
It is not easy to make a sense out of it. You can ask and ask and pray and beg and meditate in a pursuit of a non-struggling way of living. Fighting the unknown nature of all of it, trusting the belief that such a life can be created, opening to new dimensions of thinking, feeling, expressing, using periods of hard fasting and seclusion and also stages of indulging into earthly pleasures, discovering many paths, creating history, working for a state of being that consents to life as it, with no judgment, expectation, fear.
You will find some solace but you are not looking for a surviving mode of life, you are looking for wisdom, for a present life, your life in the light of your spectrum.
“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths”. They way Scott Peck put it there, just there, at the opening of his book “The Road Less Travelled”, makes some sense. This, as part of the greatest truths, comes through, especially at the contemplating hours of depression or anxiety.
There are moments of relief and periods of truce. But struggle continues. You can ask God many times, this war to be over. Some professionals say that God does not fight back. Even so, it is your movement to ask and to humble yourself asking.
At a particular moment, the pain will achieve lethal levels, and literally one minute before you are saying to yourself this is it, I can no longer go on, you will be given an invitation to take a movement. Ask for peace, if this is your choice. Express your intention in exasperation, with a truly surrendering demeanor, not because you are enlightened or you have found meaning, but because of pain, because it is hurting more than you mind can cope with.
Take the first movement of actual peace with it and then keep living your days. Struggles will be there, with a more clear understanding of your creative intelligence. You will be walking every day carrying a lot of you, of others, of things as company. Meet new group of untalented-yet-alive-in-their-own-way-people, that you enjoy one same thing. Give up the hard core fasting, just live. Your life is not going to be simple. It may be so, it may not be so. Do not invest more time in knowing if this is right, or who is right. Just live, and experiment more with the method of “trial and error”, feel the need to risk more, you are doing more than just surviving now.
Keep educating yourself in more versatile ways, with absolute no guilt about the variety of human genres that interests you, you are still curious. Stay with the Big Mother, that’s more like it. She gives answers, stay with them in escalating silence.
Mother says that to be able to have a lean body with healthy muscles one has to hurt the muscles by engaging into hard physical exercise or apply certain pressure to them. The same goes for rejuvenating the face, its skin needs to be gently traumatized in its deeper layers to allow the natural flow of blood to produce collagen and thus be regenerated. We built our health and beauty through pain, we hurt ourselves to expand our consciousness.
Expansions, openings, need the energy of movement, a stir up of what has been resting, sleeping or giving up, a solid displacement from the usual positions, an active act. They require a bulk of energy, this amount is generated with a feeling of hurt. It is more likely that we perceive this use of our energy as pain within our three dimensional earthly understanding and use of matter. Things in their natural state need energy to sustain their physical dimensions. With no struggle, with no effort they will not be able to preserve their outer form and they will have to become intangible, they will have to forsake their known nature to be able to sustain a less dense dimension, that cannot be perceived easily through our human senses.
Outside this frame, it does not need to hurt. It is our way of doing things. This arduous life hurts, this life of physical animation is difficult. Nevertheless, in this life our peace comes with our war. And war as Heraclitus said “is father of all, and king of all. He renders some gods, others men; he makes some slaves, others free”.
War is a great vehicle for those who want to explore the nature of everything. It is war that holds the energy of movement and transformation. And although by nature is regnant, war is a servant to peace.
Go to war. Be at war. Hurt, over and over. Burn out your muscles, exhaust your mind, overuse your fantasy, drain your energy, exaggerate your senses, overplay your sentiments, strain yourself. Be the soldier of your battles. Expand and keep expanding. Give your answer to the world. Let us know if it hurts or if it always has to hurt.