A Desire

I stood just before him. I looked at him. Standing, perfectly still, perfectly calm and neutral. For a second empty of all of what it could be. I breathed, slowly, naturally. I kept on starring at him. Being me, just me. With no other expectations or sercets haunting me, with no traumas or ambitions, with nothing else but me.

Soon after I started feeling my desire. My desire to be with that human standing before me. I looked carefully his features, one by one. Slowly, and intensely. As if I wanted to remember every detail; a painter that digs deep into the surface to portrait what the naked regular eye is eluding.

The roots were endless. I could go up and down in my eyes on the beautiful human body in front of me, with the awarness of the mind and the heart and the spirit of that person. Yet, I was not interested in anything else but his charm. His subtle charisma that was overflowing my senses and increased the circulation in my body. A tiny heat pinch opened my lips and formed a smile that I could barely stop.

I was now becoming aware of my desire; my primitive desire for any human being in that sense. Where the body and the senses can drive and all the rest can only obey to that with absolutey no power to overthrown it.

I sensed that I wanted to go closer and kiss him with all that desire but I could not move. I could not but stare. All of me became a thought; I do not have permission to lean over and touch or enjoy.

My face expressed sadness and all of my glow was grounded into a worrying grin that gave away only fear and anxiety.

I lowered my head and I felt jealous of all people out there that can desire without seconds thoughts of worthiness and beauty.